The plight of vulnerability
a no social media update
Before I begin I want to tell you 3 things:
1) there is still a huge get-rid-of-everything sale going on in the apothecary. Everything is now 35% off! No code needed. Shop the apothecary here.
2) Wild Medicine Ways begins in 1 month! Still space for you! Read more & apply here.
3) Right now all of my posts are behind the paywall in an effort to encourage more paid subscribers and keep vulnerable shares a little more reciprocal (fitting with today’s topic!). There are many free posts to peruse in the archive if you need convincing and there will be occasional stuff for free subscribers again soon. it’s an experiment! thanks for understanding, thanks for following along :)
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about vulnerability, especially during this lengthy and likely endless hiatus I’ve been taking from instagram, which I deleted from my phone in October, something that has been incredibly healing for mind, body, and soul. Truth be told, I’m a very open, easily vulnerable person. I don’t tend to hold back a lot of intimate details when asked about my feelings or my life, even with strangers; I am nourished by deeper, more honest conversation, believe in transparency and truth, and have always been this way—it’s fairly second nature—which I have come to believe is both a rare and beautiful thing as well as a bit of a flaw in my chemical make-up. This is also very interesting to me as I am also naturally quite a reserved, humble person and would, for the better part of my life, classify myself as fairly shy.
My work, how and what I teach all tend to be very intimate too—most of my classes are held at my house or in my garden and the plants and places we visit are very near and dear to me, relationships I have cultivated deeply over a number of years. I don’t share them and my experiences with them lightly. In a lot of ways, despite my being in the official, more isolated position of “teacher,” I am in a much more vulnerable position in my work and my students and business patrons get to know a lot more about me and my life than I do about them! Students in my classes pee in my bathroom, which I feverishly clean before their arrival, and are likely to pass a basket of my literal dirty laundry on the way to the toilet. They meet my kid and my husband and my dogs—I can’t tell you the number of heartfelt and sorrowful messages I received from former students upon the passing of our dear sweet Deedee last summer, who attended and unknowingly shaped the experience of so many Wild Medicine Ways days over the last 4 years. They often know how much money I make and are direct contributors to this, which is honestly a lot of power. This level of intimacy and familiarity is all pretty normal in the world of herbalism and farming, so much so that I tend to not think much of it—when I apprenticed with 7Song, for example, I would cook lunch while he lounged in his bed behind a small screen right beside me in his literal one-room house—but it’s all somewhat unusual in the grander scheme of the working world…
This is a no social media update, by the way, and all of this is relevant, I promise.